http://anaryan.hi5.com
मेरा देश - मेरा वोट !! (VOTE FOR BRIGHT FUTURE)
लेकिन किसको और क्यों...??
*जो देश की सुरक्षा के सामने कोई समझौते नहीं करे.
*जो देश में बढ़ रहे आतंकवाद को रोकने के लिए कठोर कानून बनाये.
*जो आतंकवादियों और उनको पनाह देने वालों के विरुद्ध कठोर कार्यवाही करे.
*जो देश में तीन करोड़ से ज्यादा घुस आये बंगलादेशी घुसपैठियों पर कार्यवाही कर देश से बाहर करे.
*जो संसद के हमलावर अफज़ल गुरु को बचाने के बजाय फांसी देकर देश के सर्वोच्च न्यायालय के निर्णय का सम्मान करे.
*जो अल्पसंख्यकों की भलाई के नाम पर बने देश विभाजन के नए दस्तावेज सच्चर कमेटी की सिफारिशों को तुरन्त रद्द करे.
*जो युवाओं के लिए रोज़गार के नए अवसर सृजन कर बेरोजगारी दूर करे.
*जो शिक्षा के बाजारीकरण को रोककर उसे भारत केन्द्रित बनाये.
"यह मेरे अपने मुद्दे हैं, फैसला मुझे ही करना है"
वोट डालना आपका संवैधानिक अधिकार ही नहीं अपितु सच्चे राष्ट्रभक्त होने का प्रमाण भी है. आपका वोट '२०२० के विकसित एवं शक्तिशाली भारत' के लिए निर्णायक साबित होगा.
राष्ट्रहित में मतदान अवश्य करें.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Some Tips to stay YOUNG AND HEALTHY:
http://anaryan.hi5.com
Some Tips to stay YOUNG AND HEALTHY:
1. Take a 10-30 Minutes Walk Every Day And While You Walk, Smile.
2. Sit in Silence for At Least 10 Minutes Each Day
3. Sleep for 7 Hours.
4. Live With The 3 Es -- Energy, Enthusiasm, And Empathy.
5. Play More Games.
6. Read More Books Than You Did last year.
7. Make Time to Practice Meditation, Yoga, and Prayer. They Provide Us
with Daily Fuel For Our Busy Lives.
8. Spend Time With People Over The Age Of 70 & Under The Age Of 6.
9. Dream More While You Are Awake.
10. Eat More Foods That Grow On Trees And Plants And Eat Less Food That
Is Manufactured in Plants.
11. Drink Plenty Of Water.
12. Try To Make At Least Three People Smile Each Day.
13. Don't Waste Your Precious Energy On Gossip.
14. Forget Issues Of The Past. Don't Remind Your Partner With His / Her
Mistakes Of The Past. That Will Ruin Your Present Happiness.
15. Don't Have Negative Thoughts Or Things You Cannot Control. Instead
Invest Your Energy in The Positive Present Moment.
16. Realize That L
Some Tips to stay YOUNG AND HEALTHY:
1. Take a 10-30 Minutes Walk Every Day And While You Walk, Smile.
2. Sit in Silence for At Least 10 Minutes Each Day
3. Sleep for 7 Hours.
4. Live With The 3 Es -- Energy, Enthusiasm, And Empathy.
5. Play More Games.
6. Read More Books Than You Did last year.
7. Make Time to Practice Meditation, Yoga, and Prayer. They Provide Us
with Daily Fuel For Our Busy Lives.
8. Spend Time With People Over The Age Of 70 & Under The Age Of 6.
9. Dream More While You Are Awake.
10. Eat More Foods That Grow On Trees And Plants And Eat Less Food That
Is Manufactured in Plants.
11. Drink Plenty Of Water.
12. Try To Make At Least Three People Smile Each Day.
13. Don't Waste Your Precious Energy On Gossip.
14. Forget Issues Of The Past. Don't Remind Your Partner With His / Her
Mistakes Of The Past. That Will Ruin Your Present Happiness.
15. Don't Have Negative Thoughts Or Things You Cannot Control. Instead
Invest Your Energy in The Positive Present Moment.
16. Realize That L
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है.
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है.
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है.
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में.
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो.
जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्श का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम.
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
मेरा देश - मेरा वोट !! (VOTE FOR BRIGHT FUTURE)
http://anaryan.hi5.com
मेरा देश - मेरा वोट !! (VOTE FOR BRIGHT FUTURE)
लेकिन किसको और क्यों...??
*जो देश की सुरक्षा के सामने कोई समझौते नहीं करे.
*जो देश में बढ़ रहे आतंकवाद को रोकने के लिए कठोर कानून बनाये.
*जो आतंकवादियों और उनको पनाह देने वालों के विरुद्ध कठोर कार्यवाही करे.
*जो देश में तीन करोड़ से ज्यादा घुस आये बंगलादेशी घुसपैठियों पर कार्यवाही कर देश से बाहर करे.
*जो संसद के हमलावर अफज़ल गुरु को बचाने के बजाय फांसी देकर देश के सर्वोच्च न्यायालय के निर्णय का सम्मान करे.
*जो अल्पसंख्यकों की भलाई के नाम पर बने देश विभाजन के नए दस्तावेज सच्चर कमेटी की सिफारिशों को तुरन्त रद्द करे.
*जो युवाओं के लिए रोज़गार के नए अवसर सृजन कर बेरोजगारी दूर करे.
*जो शिक्षा के बाजारीकरण को रोककर उसे भारत केन्द्रित बनाये.
"यह मेरे अपने मुद्दे हैं, फैसला मुझे ही करना है"
वोट डालना आपका संवैधानिक अधिकार ही नहीं अपितु सच्चे राष्ट्रभक्त होने का प्रमाण भी है. आपका वोट '२०२० के विकसित एवं शक्तिशाली भारत' के लिए निर्णायक साबित होगा.
राष्ट्रहित में मतदान अवश्य करें.
मेरा देश - मेरा वोट !! (VOTE FOR BRIGHT FUTURE)
लेकिन किसको और क्यों...??
*जो देश की सुरक्षा के सामने कोई समझौते नहीं करे.
*जो देश में बढ़ रहे आतंकवाद को रोकने के लिए कठोर कानून बनाये.
*जो आतंकवादियों और उनको पनाह देने वालों के विरुद्ध कठोर कार्यवाही करे.
*जो देश में तीन करोड़ से ज्यादा घुस आये बंगलादेशी घुसपैठियों पर कार्यवाही कर देश से बाहर करे.
*जो संसद के हमलावर अफज़ल गुरु को बचाने के बजाय फांसी देकर देश के सर्वोच्च न्यायालय के निर्णय का सम्मान करे.
*जो अल्पसंख्यकों की भलाई के नाम पर बने देश विभाजन के नए दस्तावेज सच्चर कमेटी की सिफारिशों को तुरन्त रद्द करे.
*जो युवाओं के लिए रोज़गार के नए अवसर सृजन कर बेरोजगारी दूर करे.
*जो शिक्षा के बाजारीकरण को रोककर उसे भारत केन्द्रित बनाये.
"यह मेरे अपने मुद्दे हैं, फैसला मुझे ही करना है"
वोट डालना आपका संवैधानिक अधिकार ही नहीं अपितु सच्चे राष्ट्रभक्त होने का प्रमाण भी है. आपका वोट '२०२० के विकसित एवं शक्तिशाली भारत' के लिए निर्णायक साबित होगा.
राष्ट्रहित में मतदान अवश्य करें.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
आरक्षण का एक विकल्प
http://anaryan.hi5.com
मेरे पास एक आईडिया है
आरक्षण का एक विकल्प
आज हमारे देश को आरक्षण की नहीं मेधा की और इंटेलिजेंस की जरुरत है
जाति पर आधारित आरक्षण न केवल लोगो के मन में दरार डाल रहा है बल्कि इस आरक्षण का लाभ भी वो ही लोग उठा रहे है जो आरक्षित जातियों में एक सम्पन्न परिवार से ताल्लुक रखते है
हमारे आरक्षित जाति के भाई बहनो में भी ज्यादातर ऐसे है जिन्हें आरक्षण का लाभ नहीं मिल पा रहा है
तो क्यों न आरक्षण ख़तम ही कर दिया जाये
और आरक्षण की वजह से अयोग्य या कम योग्य लोगो को नौकरी देकर सरकार देश का और देश के विकास का जो नुकसान कर रही है , उस से बचा जाये.
हमारी मांग है की सरकार को देश के सभी बच्चों की स्कूल (१२) तक की पढाई निशुल्क कर दी जाये चाहे वो बच्चा किसी भी वर्ग का हो और किसी भी जाति का हो
किताब कॉपी से लेकर जो भी खर्चा हो वो सब सरकार उठाए .रोजगार के लिए भरे जाने वाले सरे फार्म्स निशुल्क कर दिए जाये ...............अब इसके बाद जिस बच्चे में योग्यता होगी वो आगे पहुच जायेगा और वह उसके ऊपर कोई लोगो नहीं लगा होगा की वो आरक्षित वर्ग का है या नहीं
निश्चित ही भारत माता का वो बेटा उसकी सेवा करने में सफल होगा.
jay bharat
मेरे पास एक आईडिया है
आरक्षण का एक विकल्प
आज हमारे देश को आरक्षण की नहीं मेधा की और इंटेलिजेंस की जरुरत है
जाति पर आधारित आरक्षण न केवल लोगो के मन में दरार डाल रहा है बल्कि इस आरक्षण का लाभ भी वो ही लोग उठा रहे है जो आरक्षित जातियों में एक सम्पन्न परिवार से ताल्लुक रखते है
हमारे आरक्षित जाति के भाई बहनो में भी ज्यादातर ऐसे है जिन्हें आरक्षण का लाभ नहीं मिल पा रहा है
तो क्यों न आरक्षण ख़तम ही कर दिया जाये
और आरक्षण की वजह से अयोग्य या कम योग्य लोगो को नौकरी देकर सरकार देश का और देश के विकास का जो नुकसान कर रही है , उस से बचा जाये.
हमारी मांग है की सरकार को देश के सभी बच्चों की स्कूल (१२) तक की पढाई निशुल्क कर दी जाये चाहे वो बच्चा किसी भी वर्ग का हो और किसी भी जाति का हो
किताब कॉपी से लेकर जो भी खर्चा हो वो सब सरकार उठाए .रोजगार के लिए भरे जाने वाले सरे फार्म्स निशुल्क कर दिए जाये ...............अब इसके बाद जिस बच्चे में योग्यता होगी वो आगे पहुच जायेगा और वह उसके ऊपर कोई लोगो नहीं लगा होगा की वो आरक्षित वर्ग का है या नहीं
निश्चित ही भारत माता का वो बेटा उसकी सेवा करने में सफल होगा.
jay bharat
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
just like life
http://anaryan.hi5.com
Super models
Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the super model Stephanie Seymour.
"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got?
"My wife" said the other with a heavy sigh!
Perfect Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere.. ...but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"I said "Dust!"
_________________
Women Powers
At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.
The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."
Again the conference applauded.
Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
_________________
Before the marriage
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She
puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the
back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his
cheek and said, "I would have been released today" . . .
The real Joe Schmoe
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?". Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"
_________________
The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."
_________________
Unfaithful Hubby
Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."
Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.
"Now you be still, and let the poison work."
_________________
Super models
Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the super model Stephanie Seymour.
"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got?
"My wife" said the other with a heavy sigh!
Perfect Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere.. ...but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"I said "Dust!"
_________________
Women Powers
At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.
The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."
Again the conference applauded.
Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
_________________
Before the marriage
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She
puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the
back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his
cheek and said, "I would have been released today" . . .
The real Joe Schmoe
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?". Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"
_________________
The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."
_________________
Unfaithful Hubby
Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."
Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.
"Now you be still, and let the poison work."
_________________
जुस्त लिखे लाइफ
http://anaryan.hi5.com
Super models
Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the super model Stephanie Seymour.
"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got?
"My wife" said the other with a heavy sigh!
Perfect Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere.. ...but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"I said "Dust!"
_________________
Women Powers
At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.
The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."
Again the conference applauded.
Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
_________________
Before the marriage
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She
puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the
back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his
cheek and said, "I would have been released today" . . .
The real Joe Schmoe
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?". Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"
_________________
The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."
_________________
Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 2803
Location: Pakistan
PostPosted: NiceFun.net Post Subject: Unfaithful Hubby Reply With Quote
Unfaithful Hubby
Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."
Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.
"Now you be still, and let the poison work."
_________________
Super models
Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the super model Stephanie Seymour.
"I say she's highly over-rated," said one "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got?
"My wife" said the other with a heavy sigh!
Perfect Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere.. ...but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"I said "Dust!"
_________________
Women Powers
At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.
The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."
Again the conference applauded.
Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
_________________
Before the marriage
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She
puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the
back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his
cheek and said, "I would have been released today" . . .
The real Joe Schmoe
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?". Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"
_________________
The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."
_________________
Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 2803
Location: Pakistan
PostPosted: NiceFun.net Post Subject: Unfaithful Hubby Reply With Quote
Unfaithful Hubby
Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."
Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.
"Now you be still, and let the poison work."
_________________
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